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Flying Pig Amsterdam the Best Hostel in Amsterdam!

Posted at:1 September, 2015 in Ambassador Blog

Aug 21

It takes 42 minutes by train to get from Rotterdam to Amsterdam…

…and it costs €18.10 by the time NS Rail is through with extra charges for using your credit card on the ticket machine, yet they do not have a slot for cash….  A naughty trick….

As I got off the train and was exiting Amsterdam Centraal, I could not help smiling.  I was so happy to be in the city again.  As I walked down Damrak to get a refresher-vibe on the city, I got goose bumps…twice… just seeing things that are familiar to me, like the chip place called Manneken Pis and Dam Square.  I freaking love this city!

On my way to the Uptown Flying Pig Hostel, I walked all of the way to Max Euweplein and dropped into Hard Rock Café along the way to see some old work faces.  I was greeted like a returning war hero when I entered the building with a lot of hugs, handshakes and smiles.  I love stopping by that building.  Everyone was pressuring me to stick around but I wanted to get to my hostel to meet everyone and to settle in.  I had to promise that I would return in the evening.

The Flying Pig  is only a short walk from Leidselpein, one of the amazing party areas of Amsterdam.  I entered the hostel and found the reception downstairs by the bar.

I introduced myself and made friends with the staff who were all very happy to meet me.  They checked me into an 8-bed dorm in a very nice room with an attached bathroom and shower.  It is funny, but having an attached bathroom and shower feels like luxury these days.

The hostel was busy for an early 18:00, with many people in the bar, smoking and lounge areas.

Inside of the bar/lounge area of the Flying Pig.

Inside of the bar/lounge area of the Flying Pig.

I sat at the bar to have a beer and make friends.  They play great music playing and the environment is great.  I have been told along this journey through Europe by a couple of people that they Flying Pig is the best party hostel on the continent.

It feels good in the Flying Pig.  I sat on a barstool for a couple of hours, just chatting with the bar patrons and reception staff.  The décor and the art of the hostel bar is really mellow.  Everyone in the building has a smile on their face just for being in this city, plus the enhancements of various Amsterdam treats.  Amsterdam is a destination on every travelers map with a giant ‘X’ marked over the city name.  There is not much to not like in Amsterdam, and the Flying Pig hostel has a crazy reputation to live up to a city with a crazy reputation.  And the staff is awesome and super friendly.

At 20:00 a pub crawl recruiting team signed up half of the Flying Pig and headed out on the town.  At that time my friend Dena who I had met in Bruges came to find me.  After the crowd had thinned in the bar, Dena and I headed to the Hard Rock to see my friends.  We were fed and watered and taken care of very well.  It is dangerous to go in there.  At midnight when we went to leave, we got pictures where I was on bartender Kostas’ shoulders behind the bar.  That place brings me chaos.



I took Dena on Beaver’s Amsterdam tour.  First we went to look at my old house on Warmoesstraat in the Red Light District.  Then we went to look at the naughty parts of Amsterdam.  Dena and I went to the €2 Peep Show where for two minutes we entered a small room with a clouded window.  When we dropped our coin in the slot, the cloud cleared from the window and inside on a rotating bed was a very unsatisfied woman who does a solo strip tease without any interest in doing it for her 8 hours-a-day shift.  It is horrible, and unfulfilling in any way, but it is part of the Amsterdam RLD experience.  Dena and I walked past all of the women in the windows to determine the most gorgeous.  It is really hard to pick.  Many of the women standing in windows in Amsterdam’s Red Light District are incredibly beautiful and seem like they should be on the back of wealthy men’s yachts instead.

Dena wanted to go to a strip club, but I was not that interested in the idea.  Then she suggested the sex show at Theatre Casa Rosso.  It was €50 each to enter and came with two drinks.  It was out of my price range of interest, but she said would pay for both of us to go because of how well my friends had taken care of us in Hard Rock.  We made friends with the doorman who liked our energy and gave Dena a staff t-shirt when she asked for one.  Then he gave us postcards and keychains.  He was too nice of a guy for us to not go in…

I like this older couple, chilling out.

I like this older couple, chilling out.

Theatre Casa Rosso has two levels of seating and the bar is on the top floor where we got our drinks.  Dena asked me where I wanted to sit.  “Pervert Row!”  We headed for two seats as close to the stage as we could get.  On the stage were a man and a woman who were having sex on a round bed that was rotating.  Holy!  Welcome!

The man was having sex with the woman to the beat of the song that had a chorus singing, “I’m searching for my rebound chick.  Girl can you be it…?”  There were seven different sex acts that took place while we were inside the theatre with women of hugely varying levels of beauty.  A curtain would open and close around the bed on the stage to reveal the next act:

-A naked woman came out on stage with a cigar and a pack of matches.  She lit the cigar, inserted it into her vagina, and then puffed and smoked the cigar with her vagina.  The cherry embers would glow red when she sucked in and then a puff of smoke would come out, just like an ordinary smoker.  She had found a way to avoid lung cancer!

-A couple of acts later, a woman asked for a volunteer.  I decided I could be the guy so the woman took me on the stage with her.  As I went on stage, Dena said a bouncer ran over to her and said, “No Pictures!  I am watching you!”  I was seated and the woman did a terrible strip tease for me and the crowd.  I was saying silly things to her and making her laugh.  She told me I could not touch her, but wanted me to take off her bra.  She was facing me, as I reached around her and undid it with one hand.  The men in the crowd cheered for me at my ease of unsnapping it so quickly.  When she looked at me in surprise, I told her, “Ahhh, I used to practice it all the time on my mom…”  The horror on her face was amazing.  I was kidding…


-A man dressed in a gorilla suit came out on the stage wearing a strap-on.  He was beating his chest and masturbating the strap-on which shot water on the crowd of people in the front row.  As mentioned before, we were in Pervert Row.  I ducked down so that the water would miss me.  It was just water, but that act is still terrifying…

-A naked woman came out and took another male volunteer on stage.  She took off his shirt.  The she squatted overtop of him and inserted a marker into her vagina.  By moving only her hips, she wrote something on him.  When she stood up and helped pick him up, the word ‘DICK’ was written across his chest.

-A dominatrix act followed, and then the show repeated itself with the same sex act that was taking place between the same man and same woman who were center stage when we had entered the building.  Dena and I left to go find some bars.

The two of us walked back to Leidseplien and stopped at the Whiskey Bar where I met three aerospace engineers who design satellites and try to figure out how to clean up space junk.  I talked about the moon landing with them and asked them if they thought it was real.  I asked each aerospace person one by one why we have not been back to the moon for 43 years.  We debated about the last moon landing that I said took place in 1972.  He thought it was 1979.  I bet him €50 on it.  He Googled the answer.  Yes!…I knew more than an aerospace engineer.

He only had €35 in his pocket, so I took that and called it square.  I brought the aerospace engineers with Dena and I to another bar.  However, I felt so bad about taking his money that I paid his cover charge to him inside.  Our crew danced until 05:30 when I realized it was time to get home to the hostel.

Dena and I walked though Vondel Park, parted ways, and then I went to the Flying Pig.  As I came in the building, bartender Ryan who I had been chatting with earlier in the night was still cleaning.

                             The Flying Pig Uptown: The best Hostel in Amsterdam!

The Flying Pig Uptown.

The Flying Pig Uptown.

I told him about my adventures for the night.  He laughed at me and I went through the sequence of events.  I drank a lot of water and then went to find my bed!  I was once again, the last one to the bed in my room…  I am far too old to be getting home after 21 year olds night after night!

I feel like I am walking among giants in The Netherlands.  This is the second tallest country in the world, and sometimes in crowds I feel like a hobbit, even amongst the Dutch women.

Aug 22
I was up at 10:30 to get ready and to shower for the day…

I went down to talk to the ladies at Flying Pig reception and then dashed out the door to catch a Big City cycling tour of Amsterdam though Mike’s Bikes for €19 that had been organized by the lovely bar manager, Sarah.  I have yet to do a cycling tour of any city, but could think of no better place to do so than Amsterdam.

After the tour, a friend named Sheridan, who I had met at the Flying Pig, and I walked back to our hostel.  I had a one hour nap and hung out in the hostel bar for an hour.  People were making big plans for the night.  Sheridan and I decided to go on the Red Light District walking tour and just as we were about to leave, Dena came to find us at the bar and joined us on the tour.  It was fascinating.

I took Dena and Sheridan with me after towards Leidseplein.  None of us had any gas left in our tanks.  We went out for a couple of beers, and then the girls went home.

Ah, Amsterdam. So pretty.

Ah, Amsterdam. So pretty.

People come to Amsterdam and get ‘fall down’ trashed.  A lot of people are being helped to their feet by their friends through the day…

Aug 23

I got up in time for the Flying Pig, the best hostel in Amsterdam breakfast, and hung out in the hostel for the early afternoon, relaxing in the environment…

…. I wrote on the blog and tried to catch up on life in the bar/lounge area of the hostel.  At 14:00,  I borrowed my friend Menno’s bike and ride to the Ij where the Sail Amsterdam 2015 festival was taking place.

The crowds at the festival were ‘10-meters-from-the-front-of-the-stage rock-concert’ type chaos.  In places security was directing people walking and creating one way sidewalks because there were so many people.  I watched the show of a Colombian ship about to set sail.  The officers on the deck were directing their shipmate-traffic with different types of whistles.  It was quite a sight as the shipmates climbed up the massive sails while wearing Colombian flag colours as they stood on different rows.  Watching the shipmates scramble up the netting to the top of the sails looks a little like an anthill swarming when it has been disturbed.

This was the crowd at Sail Amsterdam 2015.

This was the crowd at Sail Amsterdam 2015.

The best Hostel in Amsterdam!

I spent the evening at sitting at the bar of the Flying Pig Uptown.  I have the same place where I sit every day and it feels like I am beginning to have my own barstool there, similar to Norm from the old television series, ‘Cheers.’  When Dena came to the Flying Pig to see me yesterday I was on my stool she said, “Well, I knew where I would find you…”  Tonight I set up shop in the same place and chatted with any and every person who came to the bar to get a drink.  At 20:00 the pub-crawl thinned out the crowd, but by 22:00 the room was packed again and there was a really good ambiance.  The bar is well organized, there is great music playing.  Bartender Slaven really loves his job and when you get the munchies, he can make you a €5 pizza to feed your worms.  The tables and stools were all packed and it was fun to be in there. 

Everyone I talked to loves this hostel, and everyone in Amsterdam is there for a great time.  It is easy to find that at the Flying Pig bar!

Before we leave Amsterdam, here are some crazy Red Light District tour facts:

-There are two police stations around the Red Light District, possibly making it the safest area in Amsterdam.

-The women in the RLD are self employed and pay taxes.

-The working girls have three different alarms in their rooms in the event of any kind of trouble.  Within 90 seconds, security can get to the window of any prostitute in the RLD.

-Red Thread Union started in 1984 for the prostitutes.  They offer courses for career changes.

Even Santa likes the Red Light District!

Even Santa likes the Red Light District!

-During the Roman Empire, the Romans used goat bladders for condoms.  After the fall of the empire, condoms disappeared.  Syphilis soon became a serious problem.

-When pornography was legal, a man in the fruit and vegetable market had a store.  If you ordered ‘two apples and a banana,’ it was code that you also wanted him to slip porn in the bag with the fruit.

-Two guys really high on a bike were riding through the crowd singing, “I’m Walking On Sunshine” really loud.  It looked like they were having the time of their lives.

-The church saw prostitution as a necessity.  Sailors were coming in from sea with one thing on their minds and were fraternizing with women.  The church realized that a small amount of women could take care of this issue and it would help to keep the rest of the female population pure.

-Prostitutes began entering bars and they were taking men away.  The bar owners did not like losing money, so they allowed the prostitutes to continue coming in, but the rule was that they could not leave with customers until the bar was to closed.  As a result, brothels began to open.

-The oldest prostitute in Amsterdam is 84 years old.  She is contactable by a telephone booking only.  That is some kind of fetish…

-It costs working girls €110-150 to rent their rooms for 8 hours.

-There are no pimps allowed in the Red Light District.

-Five years ago, there were 500-700 women working the RLD.  Today there are 300.  The y’s 2012 project wants that number to be 100 by 2016.

-in 1911, prostitution was banned and it went underground for some time.  The women lost their safety during this time.

-The Netherlands decriminalized prostitution in the 1980s’.  In the 2000’s they legalized it.

-Only prostitutes with a European passport are allowed to work in the Red Light District.

-80% of the women in the RLD get tested for infections and diseases every two weeks, for which they receive certificates of health.

Flying Pig Amsterdam the Best Hostel in Amsterdam!
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